Paint me red. Paint me brave. Colour me hopeful.

I started this decade with a move to England. I am ending it with a year back in homeland.

“You already live and work in London? Then, what are you doing back here?!” I was often at the end of this kind of query for the last year. People are baffled. They wonder why I came back, especially in a country where it seems that one of the biggest achievement you can do is to leave.

I have been here in the Philippines for a year now, when most people thought I wouldn’t last for long.
“You’re too sheltered.”
“You’ve already enjoyed a certain kind of lifestyle.”
“You are not cut out for the grind here.”
“This would not suit you. At all!“
“You have no idea how tough it is.“
“You. Cannot. Possibly. Last.”
Everyone must have thought that I have glazed over eyes coming back. Most would have thought it idealistic, even unrealistic, when I said I am here to pursue my passion.

And for the most part, I believed that maybe they are right. Perhaps this was just me looking to confront a challenge. An exercise of free will in seeking a great perhaps, at best. Or wishful folly, at worst. This might become nothing more than a failed experiment of a privileged petulant young adult in her pursuit for something more. Nevertheless, I also took those wanton remarks on my stride.

So, here I stand. Constantly anxious? Absolutely. Still high-strung? Very much so! But never tired of proving myself – for the things that matter. At the danger of sounding too clichéd… Follow your dreams. Be steadfast in your passion. Know your goals. You might not know if it’s worth it – I’m still not quite sure myself – but you can have tons of pleasures and experiences finding out.

Don’t let the metaphorical ropes hold you. Work those frays instead of letting them scare you. You are always bigger than your doubts. It just takes one to embrace the immensity and all the colours of possibilities.

Paint me red. Paint me brave. Colour me hopeful. I am ready for this decade. Bring it the hell on!